Home / When I began to love myself I stopped craving for a different life, and could see that everything around me, inviting me to grow. Today I call it maturity.

When I began to love myself I stopped craving for a different life, and could see that everything around me, inviting me to grow. Today I call it maturity.

Often the basis of a personal immaturity is shyness, and her injury early childhood or adolescence. Here is an example from my practice, when a boy of 12 years decided to go to one of the girls standing in a group of others. This communicative act ended in tears for him, laughed at him, humiliated him. 10 years after the described story, he was at my reception, the problem of shyness in contact with the girls.
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On the basis of the understanding of the dialectical nature of the relationship of negative and positive aspects of loneliness as well, given that the experience of loneliness influence (according to the one-way ANOVA) problems with the peer group and in relation to themselves, as well as some of the features of the self (self-doubt currently, the lack of life prospects and low commitment, dissatisfaction with themselves, a desire for personal development, as well — a tendency to self-incrimination), self-perception (perception of themselves as unable to manage the events of his life, doubts about its value to others, the inner honesty) and behavior (suicidality the oppositional behavior and subordination, compliance) were identified internal conditions of actualization of positive potential of loneliness.
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Justification «to be with anyone,» suggests that the lives of these women had a relationship, the repetition of which, or a reminder of them, it is extremely painful for the psyche. The failures in his personal life, pain, disappointment, betrayal, loss, etc. It suggests very severe emotional distress. If a person, «survived» their traumatized and disillusioned globally, it further protects itself from love and intimacy.
The situation is the formation of negative «self-concept» under the influence of family environment will characterize loneliness as a result of violation of the inviolability of the inner world. The reason for this is the loss of confidence in parents, teachers, friends. This option alone will represent more severe form of the process and is a characteristic of impaired educational process.
Mathematical analysis using the Mann-Whitney test confirmed the absence of significant and multiple differences in correlation with loneliness personal characteristics of the subjects in the samples of students of 10th and 11th graders.
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Teens who do not wish to submit to socially accepted standards of morality and behavior, may deserve some respect mixed with hostility, but they usually become the target of ridicule. Such a child has hard — he is torn between a desire to be «like everyone else» and the desire to be who he really is, that is different from the rest.

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